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  • Writer's pictureDorsa Sajedi

Peer Reviewing Ideas :)

Doughnuts and Champagne ~ Robyn

Adapted from 'Careful' by Raymond Carver.

I enjoy how she put more emphasis on the doughnuts and the champagne. It was a subtle element in the original story which provided insight into Lloyds unhealthy habits, but its a nice area of focus.

I definitely think her idea of focusing heavily on sound is a good choice. Lloyd is made out to be quite an introverted character who doesn't want to interact with anybody, and because of this, I feel that the less dialogue it has, the better, and to replace that, one can heighten the character's mental state or mood through the sound design.

Robyn's version of Lloyd definitely differs from Carvers, as I feel that he views his ex-wife's presence as more of an inconvenience, and we don't see her at all here. By doing so, there's more opportunity to focus on his character alone, which I'm interested in seeing.

Photograph of My Father in His Twenty-Second Year ~ Molly

Adapted from Raymond Carver's poem.

I enjoyed reading the poem, so I feel that an adaptation that stays true to the original is a good creative decision. My only critique (entirely a personal preference) is on the choice to have a voiceover of the poem on top, as I don't feel that it's needed. I feel that through visuals, and incorporations of dialogue from the characters themselves or some form of interaction with either the child or the father, messages and meanings can be incorporated. I feel that this also adds a level of uniqueness, while still staying true to the original. Or, maybe incorporating a line from the poem or an interpretation of the poem in the form of a voiceover. But, as I mentioned, this could just be personal preference.

I'm curious to know more about Molly's interpretation of the setting, and how she wants to depict the characters. I feel that although the poem itself offers insight into the tone and the personality of the characters, I would enjoy hearing her perception of the poem and how she would like to portray that.

Will You Please Be Quiet, Please? ~ Laura

Adapted from Raymond Carver's short story.

I was interested in looking into an idea that was developed from the same short story Abbie and I chose out of curiosity, so I looked at Laura's for my final one. :)

It will be interesting to see more insight into both Ralph and Marian's perspectives rather than maintaining focus on Ralph alone like the original itself. I feel that by doing so, the audience can choose to sympathise with who they please, but that will depend on how she goes about it - and I'm interested in knowing who she would like the audience to sympathise with. Like Laura mentions, her idea needs more development, but I feel that it definitely has potential.

Final Note

This line of thinking has reminded me to consider the effect of audience perception, and although in Abbie and I's adaptation our focus is on homophobia and Ralph is arguably portrayed as the villain, it would be interesting to look into providing insight into both characters rather than focusing on Marian and pushing sympathy for her alone.

Overall, I enjoyed reading these three ideas and I feel that they could all build-up to really good adaptations and I'm interested to see where they will go! :)

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